I Hate My Dog!!

Before you start to read this I just want to post a warning...
If you love your dog-close the blog window now.
If hating my dog offends you-close the blog window now.


Then again, if it is going to cause you to phone PETA or the SPCA or the local Humane Society to demand they remove my dog from my custody......
READ ON!! Let me know if they are coming so I can pack her food and toys!

So....I hate my dog!
It was a long day at work.
I needed to get home.
I opened the door and was greeted by the dog, as always.
(she sounds sweet....don't be fooled!)

Then, I walked into the kitchen.....
Seems the dog had opened the cupboard and attacked the garbage and the green bin.
The contents were all over the kitchen floor.
Some garbage was in the living room, some in the hallway.

I picked it all up, scraped it out of the cupboard and scrubbed the floor.

How many egg shells, bacon wrappers, pork wrappers, Chinese food remnants, tea bags, popcorn kernels, vegetable peels and God only know what else, can one dog stomach?
I did the house tour to see if she had barfed somewhere.....that is sure to come.

All the while the dog was in her crate.
Cowering under my cloud of hatred.

I hate my dog!

Feeling Bored?

Feeling bored?
Need some entertainment?
I found a great Internet adventure.

It all began when I was reading the description for this DVD:
Google Me
The basic story: "It all started when I Googled my name....."

So, I Googled my name (current and maiden surname).
I discovered a number of cool sites and interesting information.

Go ahead, try it!
You know you want to......

Don't Read It!!

I'm sorry!
I have a strong opinion that I just have to voice!

The ALA (American Library Association) has released it's
Most Frequently Challenged Books list, as well as the
100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of the Decade (2000 – 2009).

My opinion:
If you don't like it.....
DON"T READ IT!

A Blog I enjoy lurking, Rolling Around In My Head
has had people write in the comment section criticizing him for some of his postings.

My opinion:
If you don't like it....
DON"T READ IT!

Freedom of Voice!
Freedom of Expression!
Freedom to Write!
Freedom to put down a book!
Freedom to close a blog window!

If you don't like it....
DON"T READ IT!

Common sense people!!!

Oh! How I giggled!

I took two of my boys to the Dr.'s today for their Twinrix #2 shot.
We waited and waited and waited.......
The Dr. was obviously behind schedule.
Another kid was called in before us.

Then we heard it:
The screaming!
The yelling!
The begging!
The pleading!
The SCREAMING!!!

Obviously, she was torturing the poor kid.
How did I react??
I giggled uncontrollably!

A screaming child is so much funnier when it isn't yours!

My boys sat passively through their shots.
They didn't entertain any mothers in the waiting room.
They were mad because they didn't get a sucker.
The 'Screamer' walked out with a sucker.....

The lesson??
Screamers get suckers.
I can tell my boys are gearing up their vocal cords for shot #3.
I can hardly wait!

Rebuttal and a Moral Dilemma

Well, it's seems I have a rebuttal.
Not a comment, a rebuttal -an out and out dispute!
My dear MAC friend commented on my post yesterday:

..."cleverly turned on the microphone app. on my iPhone" ...?
Really J – you are no 007.
Perhaps it was the wine – three glasses of it – that distorted your perspective and diminished your slight of hand. Yup, that must be it.

First of all, lets clear a few things up.
2 glasses not 3.
I can't drive on 3...just stating a fact for all you 'coppers' out there!

Secondly, I wasn't being stealthy.
I admit it.
I took out the phone, turned on the microphone and said something to the effect of:
"Don't talk about me behind my back. I'm taping you!!"
Then I put it in full view on the table and dashed to the washroom.

Never in my sweetness and innocence did I imagine that they would tamper with my Facebook!
Hold on........!
Sweetness; innocence; thinking that my friends were trustworthy.....
She's right, it must have been the TWO glasses of wine.
My judgement was distorted.

However!
At the end of the evening I was very stealth-like (just like 007) when I discovered a huge error on the bill, slipped it across the table (very indiscreetly) and exclaimed in a stealthy whisper,
"She didn't charge us for everything!"

So this is where the moral dilemma comes in....
What do you do?
Do you pay the under-charged bill and run? Do you tell the waitress?

How about at a cashier?
If they give you too much change do you run with it? Or tell them?

At a bank machine....if you arrive at a machine only to find money sitting in the slot do you take it? Do you return it to the bank?

Someone drops money as they walk by you, do you pick it up and pocket it?
Do you return it to them.

Money! The root of all evil!

Bet you want to know what we did, don't you??

Lesson Learned

Tonight I had a GNO...
(Girl's Night Out).
I went out with the Mac Girls...
(my gang from McMaster).
We were having a blast.... as always.

I was desperate to use the washroom but I didn't want to miss out on the conversation.
Plus, as with all best friends, I didn't trust that they wouldn't talk about me behind my back!
What???...it's what great friends do!!
So, I cleverly turned on the Microphone App. on my iPhone, left it on the table and went off to pee.
Big mistake!
They changed my Facebook status.....
What can I say, it's what great friends do!!
Biotches!!

We're 45 turning 19 again!
I hope we never grow up!
Life is more fun when you have a gang to laugh with....
Just wish I still had the bladder control of a 19 year old.

Gas in the Car!

My Life.
(Sung to the tune of Silent Night.)

In the van,
In the back are the boys,
Focused on their electronic toys.
A sudden blast explodes in the air,
Horrible gas causes nostrils to flare,
Open the windows quick!
I'm feeling rather sick.

The air is green,
The smell is obscene,
The boys are laughing hysterically,
Competition is ripe in the air,
Another fart explodes back there.
Why oh why did I have boys?
Why did I have stinky boys?

Hobbits!

I gave birth to Hobbits!

No, they aren't hairy with big feet.
Then again....they are hairy and they do have big feet.
They just aren't as hairy and as big footed as Hobbits.

The clue that gives them away is their desire for food.
We were out the other night at a wonderful event when Hobbit #1 asked if we were stopping on the way home for dinner.
"We had dinner already," I answered.
Hobbit #2 piped up, "Not that dinner....Dinner #2."

Dinner #1? Dinner #2? Nighttime snack? Bedtime snack? I'm hungry in bed -I need another snack-Snack?
Hobbits I say!
I have no idea where they put it.
I just know that I am running out of the inspiration to create it.

"Kitchen's closed - the cook is tired - make it yourself!"I yell.
And they do.....
Hour by hour until they finally sleep.
Hobbits I say!

Jealous

I'm jealous.....of my purse.


It gets more compliments than I do!
"Great purse"
"Love the bag!"
"I want that purse"

What about me?!
Notice me!
Don't I look great?!
Don't ya just love me?!

My husband bought me the purse for Christmas.
I think he thought it would help him 'get something' in return.
I don't think so.....
He can sleep on the couch WITH the purse!


I had a feeling that other women may be feeling the same way about their purses.
So I went out of my way to focus on the person and ignore the purse.
"You look FANTASTIC! The purse is okay."
"You're GREAT! The purse is so-so"
"Love YOU! The purse is nice"


I have a few restraining orders now, but I think I made my point!

I am woman hear me Roar!
I'd like to see my purse try that!