Dead Battery

Conversation last evening:

Me: Hi. (tone of voice: mix of worry and bother)

Hubby: Hi. (tone of voice: why are you calling me when the game is starting? I thought you were coming to the arena)

Me: My battery is dead.

H: No it's not.

Me: ????? Yes it is.

H: It can't be.

Me: Well, the lights are on but it's dead.

H: The lights are on, it's working, it's fine, your battery is not dead.

J: Yes it is! It won't turn on!

H: It's on, I'm talking to you........

J: What??? Not my phone you idiot! My car!!

Moral: Men are idiots; especially when watching sports!

Laugh of the Day!

The Canadian Car.....
Why Canadians need heated seats!



This made me laugh out loud today!
I love a good laugh in the morning :)

PS I don't drive a jeep (so I'm not making millions for showing this)
PPS I really, really want heated seats!

Speed Up!!!

Have you ever noticed that the more of a hurry you are in, the slower --people-- drive?
Is it just me?

Need to cross the city in a hurry?
The person in front of you leaves the length of a football field between themself and the car in front of them!
Try changing lanes to get around them?
They speed up! Just-to-piss-you-off!

Trying to make the light before it changes?? ..... because, as I mentioned, I'm in a hurry!
The person ahead of you slows down to admire the shade of yellow!

Trying to fly through the side streets?
Who goes 30 km in a 50km zone??
Only the person in front of me!!

Stopped yet again by a school bus with it's lights flashing??
In my day we walked to school!!
Get out of my way!
Don't even get me started on school bus stop mothers and their driving habits, or worse yet, school parking lot mothers in big SUV's that they can't drive!!!!

I know what you are thinking....slow down, relax, better safe then sorry, you'll arrive alive!
I know you, you're the one in front of me, slowing me down!
BEEP!! Speed up!

Car Wash

I took my van through the car wash yesterday.
It was so much fun!

The anticipation of the water first hitting your car.
Leaning into the centre of the van as the rollers go spinning past your window.
Watching in the rear view as they go across the back of the van.
The whole sudsy, bubbly soap stage.
The anxiety at the idea of being trapped in the middle of the car wash!
Imagining that I am being attacked by a giant octopus when those tentacles go slurping up my windshield!
The spray of the rinse cycle.
Forecasting like Anderson Cooper in hurricane force winds as I dry out.

Did I mention I was alone in the car without my kids?

Help!! I'm a child trapped in an adults body!!