Swimming Squirrel

My husband went to clean out the pool skimmer today when he noticed....A TAIL!!
Upon further inspection, we decided it was attached to a squirrel and the rest of the body was in the skimmer opening. As he went to push it out so I could scoop it up in the net....IT MOVED!!

The squirrel was still alive!!
The salvage operation became a rescue mission!

Using a bucket and a tennis racket I scooped up the soaking wet, shivering, little baby squirrel and put it by a tree in our back yard.
After a while it climbed the tree....
But then, it climbed back down to hide under the bush at the bottom.

Molly, our ferocious dog, BARKED at it; it climbed up the tree.
Molly, our ferocious dog, walked away; the squirrel climbed down....
Repeat countless times all evening.....

So, I have to ask...
?1 Why does it keep climbing down the tree to sit on the ground??
Climb squirrel! Be free!

?2 Where is it's MOTHER!!
Mother Squirrel! You disappoint me! Come help your baby!!

Stay tuned.....

SOOiPC Saturday

Straight out of the iphone Camera Saturday

Bliss!!

Why do dogs love sticking their heads out of the car window?

How can wind (and bugs) gusting in your face bring such doggone joy?

Cool part of this photo...it was taken of her reflection in the side mirror!

Enjoy your day!

May the wind blow in your face and bring you joy!!

-Careful you don't swallow a bug!! GACK!

SOOiPC Saturday

Straight out of the iphone Camera Saturday

(or in this case Sunday because the picture was taken Saturday night!)

Bonfires!!!

Nothing beats a backyard bonfire!

Well actually, a beach bonfire is better but you take what you can get.

Friends, fun, laughter and marshmallows!

Once everyone else is in bed there is nothing more relaxing that staring at the flames!

Rocks and Noses

I was lurking away in Blogland-(surprise!) and I came across a favourite blog on which the Blogger had posted photos of her son's baseball team.
Little boys in baseball uniforms are so cute!

All three of my boys played at one point.
And let me tell you, they were cute!
Problem is....the game -not so cute
To me, watching baseball was like watching paint dry!
OMG! Boring!

One of my sons agreed!
(No names are being mentioned to protect his dignity)
Picture this.....
We were nearing the end of a loooong game and my son was taking his turn in the outfield.
The ball never made it to the outfield, so what was a player to do??
The solution: Play with the gravel!
Well, not so much play with it, but stick pieces of it up his nose to see if he could blow them out.
Now that's a fun game!!

Turns out, one of the rocks was a tight fit.
As he jammed his finger up his nose to get it out, the rock went higher.
As the inning ended and he came off the field, that finger was digging for gold (or gravel)!

"Get your finger out of your nose! That's gross!"
"There's a rock stuck in my nose!"
"A WHAT??"
"There's a rock up there (pointing to his eyeball area) and I can't get it out!"
"A rock! How did a rock get up there??"
"I put it in."
"You what? Why?"
"To see if I could blow it back out!"

Sometimes we mothers just don't see the fun in anything!

Anyhow, a trip to the ER and his nose was rock free.
I won't go into details....let's just say my kid thought it was an adventure and I nearly passed out!
The rest of the season ended uneventfully and after a few more seasons he switched to football.
Thank goodness!
It's more exciting AND he looks cute in that uniform as well!
I'll let you know if he tries sticking a football up his nose!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

To Old Moms, New Moms, Wise Moms, Moms who Muddle through....

It's a hard job.....

There is no manual!

There is no right way, wrong way, this way, that way.....

It's a hard job......

It's a great job!

Thanks Boys!

As I muddle through- thanks for allowing me to be the best Mom I can be!

I love being your Mom!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

SOOiPC Saturday

Straight out of Iphone Camera Saturday

Out in my backyard, in an area we call 'the forest', the garden grows wild.
A few years ago, I transplanted a Trillium from the forest up north which surrounded a cottage we rented to our forest in the city.
Every spring the Trillium grows in my garden, and every spring it multiplies.
It now has 6 flowers that bloom!
It reminds me of hot summer days and family time spent at the cottage.
A tiny blossom of hope in this cold wet spring that better days are coming.

Who knew?

Wednesday's Word of the Week

Yesterday, I was reading an email which stated:
(each family will) participate in fundraising on a discrete measurement basis.....

Now the word discrete didn't look right to me (I rely heavily on spellcheck!) and the note didn't make sense. We'd fundraise but not talk about it to others??

Quite a discussion ensued between my husband and I.
"Don't you know what discrete means?"
"I thought I did! Do you?"

Well it turns out that there is discrete and then there is discreet.
Who knew??
discreet means 'judicious, prudent, showing discernment,' while discrete means 'detached, separate' and 'individually distinct'

Learn something new everyday!
Thanks thesaurus.com!!

Butt Heads!

My Opinion Monday.

I don't smoke.
I've never been a smoker.
Smoking bothers me.....
The smell!
The smoke!
The butts!

In fact, I get down right irritated when the person ahead of me in a car, tosses their butt out of their car window.
It's littering!
It's dirty!
Butt heads!

Have you ever parked only to discover that someone has emptied their ash tray of butts in the parking spot!
It's gross!
It's dirty!
Butt heads!

My opinion: if you are dumb enough to smoke, keep your butts to yourself!
Butt heads!

Elmer Fudd!!

I was reading an article on my Sympatico homepage about misheard song lyrics and I was transported back to my first Bruce Springsteen concert in 1982.
Ahhh....Glory Days!

I wasn't familiar with Bruce or his music at the time but I was asked to go on a date with a really nice guy. So off I went!
The concert was at the old Exhibition Stadium in downtown Toronto.
It was rockin'!
The crowd started chanting for a favourite....
I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!
Was it a good song? How should I know? I didn't know any of Bruce's stuff!
But I wanted to fit in and I wanted to look good in front of my date!

ELMER FUDD! ELMER FUDD! ELMER FUDD!
Bruce was obviously a Bugs Bunny fan, he even wrote songs about them!

ELMER FUDD! ELMER FUDD! ELMER FUDD!
I can yell really loud! I was impressing everyone around me! They were all looking at me as I chanted at the top of my voice! Especially my date!

ELMER FUDD! ELMER FUDD! ELMER FUDD!
Let's just say my new found love of Bruce Springsteen's music lasted longer than my date!
Misheard lyrics?? I'm a champion!

ELMER FUDD!

SOOiPC Saturday

My friend Lee, who I have mentioned before, does this cool Blog post on

Saturdays called SOOC Saturdays.

Straight out of Camera Saturday -and she posts one of her wonderful pictures.

Since I want to be creative like Lee when I grow up,

I am starting today SOOiPC Saturdays:

Straight out of iPhone Camera Saturdays.

Last Sunday, H and I went and cheered on our brave friend Mo in her first 10km race!

It was pouring rain and it was cold.

Mo ran! We cheered! I was inspired!

Thanks Mo for your inspiration of setting a goal and sticking to it!

GO MO!!

I Hate My Dog!!

Before you start to read this I just want to post a warning...
If you love your dog-close the blog window now.
If hating my dog offends you-close the blog window now.


Then again, if it is going to cause you to phone PETA or the SPCA or the local Humane Society to demand they remove my dog from my custody......
READ ON!! Let me know if they are coming so I can pack her food and toys!

So....I hate my dog!
It was a long day at work.
I needed to get home.
I opened the door and was greeted by the dog, as always.
(she sounds sweet....don't be fooled!)

Then, I walked into the kitchen.....
Seems the dog had opened the cupboard and attacked the garbage and the green bin.
The contents were all over the kitchen floor.
Some garbage was in the living room, some in the hallway.

I picked it all up, scraped it out of the cupboard and scrubbed the floor.

How many egg shells, bacon wrappers, pork wrappers, Chinese food remnants, tea bags, popcorn kernels, vegetable peels and God only know what else, can one dog stomach?
I did the house tour to see if she had barfed somewhere.....that is sure to come.

All the while the dog was in her crate.
Cowering under my cloud of hatred.

I hate my dog!

Feeling Bored?

Feeling bored?
Need some entertainment?
I found a great Internet adventure.

It all began when I was reading the description for this DVD:
Google Me
The basic story: "It all started when I Googled my name....."

So, I Googled my name (current and maiden surname).
I discovered a number of cool sites and interesting information.

Go ahead, try it!
You know you want to......

Don't Read It!!

I'm sorry!
I have a strong opinion that I just have to voice!

The ALA (American Library Association) has released it's
Most Frequently Challenged Books list, as well as the
100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of the Decade (2000 – 2009).

My opinion:
If you don't like it.....
DON"T READ IT!

A Blog I enjoy lurking, Rolling Around In My Head
has had people write in the comment section criticizing him for some of his postings.

My opinion:
If you don't like it....
DON"T READ IT!

Freedom of Voice!
Freedom of Expression!
Freedom to Write!
Freedom to put down a book!
Freedom to close a blog window!

If you don't like it....
DON"T READ IT!

Common sense people!!!

Oh! How I giggled!

I took two of my boys to the Dr.'s today for their Twinrix #2 shot.
We waited and waited and waited.......
The Dr. was obviously behind schedule.
Another kid was called in before us.

Then we heard it:
The screaming!
The yelling!
The begging!
The pleading!
The SCREAMING!!!

Obviously, she was torturing the poor kid.
How did I react??
I giggled uncontrollably!

A screaming child is so much funnier when it isn't yours!

My boys sat passively through their shots.
They didn't entertain any mothers in the waiting room.
They were mad because they didn't get a sucker.
The 'Screamer' walked out with a sucker.....

The lesson??
Screamers get suckers.
I can tell my boys are gearing up their vocal cords for shot #3.
I can hardly wait!

Rebuttal and a Moral Dilemma

Well, it's seems I have a rebuttal.
Not a comment, a rebuttal -an out and out dispute!
My dear MAC friend commented on my post yesterday:

..."cleverly turned on the microphone app. on my iPhone" ...?
Really J – you are no 007.
Perhaps it was the wine – three glasses of it – that distorted your perspective and diminished your slight of hand. Yup, that must be it.

First of all, lets clear a few things up.
2 glasses not 3.
I can't drive on 3...just stating a fact for all you 'coppers' out there!

Secondly, I wasn't being stealthy.
I admit it.
I took out the phone, turned on the microphone and said something to the effect of:
"Don't talk about me behind my back. I'm taping you!!"
Then I put it in full view on the table and dashed to the washroom.

Never in my sweetness and innocence did I imagine that they would tamper with my Facebook!
Hold on........!
Sweetness; innocence; thinking that my friends were trustworthy.....
She's right, it must have been the TWO glasses of wine.
My judgement was distorted.

However!
At the end of the evening I was very stealth-like (just like 007) when I discovered a huge error on the bill, slipped it across the table (very indiscreetly) and exclaimed in a stealthy whisper,
"She didn't charge us for everything!"

So this is where the moral dilemma comes in....
What do you do?
Do you pay the under-charged bill and run? Do you tell the waitress?

How about at a cashier?
If they give you too much change do you run with it? Or tell them?

At a bank machine....if you arrive at a machine only to find money sitting in the slot do you take it? Do you return it to the bank?

Someone drops money as they walk by you, do you pick it up and pocket it?
Do you return it to them.

Money! The root of all evil!

Bet you want to know what we did, don't you??

Lesson Learned

Tonight I had a GNO...
(Girl's Night Out).
I went out with the Mac Girls...
(my gang from McMaster).
We were having a blast.... as always.

I was desperate to use the washroom but I didn't want to miss out on the conversation.
Plus, as with all best friends, I didn't trust that they wouldn't talk about me behind my back!
What???...it's what great friends do!!
So, I cleverly turned on the Microphone App. on my iPhone, left it on the table and went off to pee.
Big mistake!
They changed my Facebook status.....
What can I say, it's what great friends do!!
Biotches!!

We're 45 turning 19 again!
I hope we never grow up!
Life is more fun when you have a gang to laugh with....
Just wish I still had the bladder control of a 19 year old.

Gas in the Car!

My Life.
(Sung to the tune of Silent Night.)

In the van,
In the back are the boys,
Focused on their electronic toys.
A sudden blast explodes in the air,
Horrible gas causes nostrils to flare,
Open the windows quick!
I'm feeling rather sick.

The air is green,
The smell is obscene,
The boys are laughing hysterically,
Competition is ripe in the air,
Another fart explodes back there.
Why oh why did I have boys?
Why did I have stinky boys?

Hobbits!

I gave birth to Hobbits!

No, they aren't hairy with big feet.
Then again....they are hairy and they do have big feet.
They just aren't as hairy and as big footed as Hobbits.

The clue that gives them away is their desire for food.
We were out the other night at a wonderful event when Hobbit #1 asked if we were stopping on the way home for dinner.
"We had dinner already," I answered.
Hobbit #2 piped up, "Not that dinner....Dinner #2."

Dinner #1? Dinner #2? Nighttime snack? Bedtime snack? I'm hungry in bed -I need another snack-Snack?
Hobbits I say!
I have no idea where they put it.
I just know that I am running out of the inspiration to create it.

"Kitchen's closed - the cook is tired - make it yourself!"I yell.
And they do.....
Hour by hour until they finally sleep.
Hobbits I say!

Jealous

I'm jealous.....of my purse.


It gets more compliments than I do!
"Great purse"
"Love the bag!"
"I want that purse"

What about me?!
Notice me!
Don't I look great?!
Don't ya just love me?!

My husband bought me the purse for Christmas.
I think he thought it would help him 'get something' in return.
I don't think so.....
He can sleep on the couch WITH the purse!


I had a feeling that other women may be feeling the same way about their purses.
So I went out of my way to focus on the person and ignore the purse.
"You look FANTASTIC! The purse is okay."
"You're GREAT! The purse is so-so"
"Love YOU! The purse is nice"


I have a few restraining orders now, but I think I made my point!

I am woman hear me Roar!
I'd like to see my purse try that!

I Digress...

Now that we're on the topic on boogeys...

Let's talk about the Boogeyman.
The who??
You know, the scary man that lived in your closet as a kid and made your nights a living hell.
As long as you stayed in bed and the closet door was shut, you were safe.
If the door was left open even a crack......
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
If you had to get out of bed for any reason...
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

The Boogeyman of my night terrors was made up entirely of....you guessed it -boogies!
Rolled and stacked one on top of another, he resembled a stick man made out of little circles.
I was a disturbed young child!
I can't tell you when I stopped fearing the Boogeyman, I can tell you that he made a lasting impression on me.
To this day I still can't sleep in a room if the cupboard door is open!

As a young adult about to be married, I was visited by another nighttime terror.
I would wake up in the middle of the night and standing at the end of my bed was a man in a black trench coat and a fedora type hat pulled low over his eyes!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I would wake up screaming the apartment down.
We're luck no one ever called the cops.
My husband-to-be called him "The Commitment Man".
He terrified me for months!

These days, I only dream of Scary-Burglar-Type-Men in the house if I've had too much to drink or if I've taken some cold/flu medicine.
I've waken up in terror as he sneaks up to the side of my bed to slit my throat while I sleep.
AHHHHH!!!!!!!
I really have to lay off the wine!

So, there you have it.
My scary men in my bedroom at night post.
Aren't you proud?? I didn't mention my husband once!!
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist!

Nose Picker!

My favourite JK/SK teacher had to have a very serious talk with her JK/SK class.
The serious subject: Nose Picking!!
The usual discussion...it's gross! it's dirty! it's disgusting!
The social connotations:...people will think you are gross! people will make fun of you!
If you have kids, I'm sure you know how the conversation goes.

Apparently, one of my favourite JK's spoke up.
-you have to imagine the lisp and the seriousness that only a 4yr old can have.
"You're right Mrs C." he said. "So I only do it a home!"
"But," she replied, "it's still gross at home!"
"I know!!" he agreed with her. "But boogers taste really good!"

Nose Picking: Gross
Eating It : Gross
A 4yr old leaving a teacher speechless: Priceless

I'm a Cheater!

Apparently I cheated on Earth Hour.
My son is convinced!

I sat alone in the dark with a candle glowing.
I sat alone in the dark drinking my beer.
I sat alone in the dark playing games on my iPhone.

Cheater!!
He called me a Cheater!!
He called his own loving mother a Cheater!!
Apparently, I was indirectly using electricity because the iPhone uses electricity to be charged.
Who wrote the rules??
That doesn't seem fair to me!

Rotten kid!
He made me feel like an Earth Hour Cheater!
Next year I want to see the Earth Hour rule book!
Next year, my family is going to stay home with me and entertain me for an hour in the dark!

Alone in the Dark!

Tonight is Earth Hour.

Earth Hour tonight is rather uneventful for me.
Husband and Son #1 are at a Father/Son hockey game.
I'm assuming the lights are on there...otherwise that could be a bit dangerous!
Son #2 is at a BBQ.
Son #3 is at a sleepover.

I'm at home alone.
Alone in the dark.
Do I light a candle, pour a glass of wine and sit in the dark by myself?
That sounds like a load of fun!
Do I go to bed?
I'm tired, but that sounds so boring!
Do I pull the curtains, shut the bedroom doors and watch TV in the dark and hope no on notices?
That's like breaking the rules.....

It's like being out very late at night, alone in your car, at an intersection with no one else in sight, stopped at a red light.
Do you go through the red?
Or do you do the right thing?
Hmmmmm.....
Moral dilemma.

What would you do??

I'm so done!

Challenges are stoopid!

Annie?? She's overrated!

Getting up early? Why??
This 5 day challenge....I'm done with it!

I have a new challenge (one I can do!).
I challenge everyone to go to bed half an hour later than normal.
If you get out of bed late, at least you have an excuse!

So, spread the word!
Let me know if you are going to participate in my challenge and then let me know how you do!

Remember, night-time is fun-time!
Good luck!!

Challenge Stress!

I had a panic this AM waking up for my 5 day challenge!
I had to do it!
I was going to do it!
I'M AWAKE!!
Uh-Oh! Problem...it was 2:30AM.

As I lay there wide awake, I started to worry.
I have to get back to sleep!
If I don't, I won't wake up at 6:15AM.
Sleep! Sleep! Gotta get to sleep!

Worry turned to panic.
Panic turned to stress.
4:00am rolled around.
Eventually, I fell back to sleep.

I didn't make my 6:15AM challenge.
I got up at 7:00am and ran!
I'm tired today.
I'm bitchy today.

I'm starting to think this challenge isn't a good idea.

Stop the negativity!!
Channel Annie:
Tomorrow, tomorrow, there's always tomorrow.....
I'll keep you posted.

Challenged!

Wow!

I was challenged by that challenge.

The alarm went off at 6:15AM.
I hit snooze......
It was cold at 6:15, the furnace hadn't even turned on yet!
It was dark!
It was early!
I was exhausted!

I hit snooze a few more times.....
I admit, I hit it four times.
Then I lay there in defeat.
I rolled out of bed at 6:58AM.

Not too bad!
I was out of bed before 7:00, I was only 48 minutes behind my goal and I still got the first shower.

In the words of Annie:
Tomorrow, tomorrow, there's always tomorrow......

I'll try again tomorrow.

Challenge!!

A friend of mine has a great blog that I love to lurk.
She can be found at Embrace Life.

Anyhow, today at the end of her great blog she wrote (and I quote...):
And, if you are like me and have been sliding in under the covers a bit too much lately, join us over at Lifehack and wake up early! It's a 5-day challenge he's proposed, starting Monday morning. For me? At 5AM!

First I laughed 5AM?? HAHAHA! Is she crazy!
But laughter aside, I was curious, so I jumped over to Lifehack and I read.
I have to admit, I like the idea.....
Challenge myself to be an early riser for 5 days.
I can do that!
Now, I'm a lurker, so I'm not about to sign up for anything or link up so they can track me!
But, I will try it on my own.....

First of all, let's reflect on a normal weekday morning....
The alarm usually goes off at 6:40 and I smash it until 7:00ish when panic sets in and I start the day yelling and running.
Wake up! Shower! Eat! Bus! Go!
Does any of this sound familiar??

Tomorrow is the dawn of a new day.
The beginning of my 5 day challenge.
I'm not a crazy person like some, I have no intention of seeing the sun rise.
My goal will not be as lofty (or early!).

My goal is to set the alarm for 6:15AM.
If I can get out of bed by 6:15, I will ride the stationary bike that sits in my bedroom for 20 minutes.
If I can't get out of bed by 6:15 to ride the bike, I will only hit the snooze twice which will have me out of bed by 6:33 and into the shower.
Either way, I win. I get first shower.

I can do this!
I can get out of bed!
I will rise at 6:15!
I am woman hear me snore.... ROAR! I meant roar!

Let the challenge begin!

Sorry....

Sorry.
I can't stay and write today.
The sun is out!!
The sun is hot!!
It's 17 degrees out there!

I'm outside in the sunshine, loving every moment.
I'm not even wearing sunscreen!! GASP!!

It's bee a dull winter.
I need the vitamin D.
I need a little colour for my Casper The Ghost complexion.

I'm loving this sun!
Get outside!!

Wills

We just got back from updating our wills.....
To be honest, it's the first time we have had them made.
So I guess I should say we just got back from signing our wills.

I know, that's irresponsible!
But the decisions that go into them....the biggest-who gets the boys.
Or perhaps...who wants the boys -heh heh!

The scenarios that you have to make decisions about.
If one of dies....
Both of us...
Both of us and one son...
All of us....
Thinking about it gives me goosebumps.
Not that I am worried about dying; but I worry about leaving the boys when they are still boys.

We also had to sign power of attorneys.
No heroics for me.
Pull the plug and move on.....
Sounds morbid eh?

Anyhow, just wanted to put it out there.
Now, if something unexpected happens to me in the next few weeks you'll know to check into it!
Maybe there is a reason my husband wanted them done!
Hmmmm.....

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is bliss.
The Internet sucks.
I'm dying........

I have a belly ache.
So I googled my symptoms.....
googled my medications.......
googled forums with other people talking about the same pains......

The result: I'm dying.
It was easier when I just had a belly ache.
Ignorance was bliss.

With a belly ache I could just go to bed and sleep.
With impending death and doom and gloom I have to get my life in order.
I have a lot of things to do before I die.... a bucket list!!
It's exhausting just to think about how to organize the effort, in fact it's giving me a headache.

I better not google that....it may in fact be a tumor!
Too much information is not a good thing.
Damn Internet!

My belly ache, my headache and I are going to lie down.

Rain

There's nothing worse than a cold, wet, gray, rainy day.
It goes right through you and makes you feel cold and gray.
Time to curl up with tea and a book.
A fire or blanket is needed.
I'm not going out.
This is nasty.

Rain, rain, go away!

Roll Up The Rim

It's Roll Up The Rim to Win Season.
A yearly event that all coffee drinking Canadians look forward to.
Roll up the rim on your Tim Horton's coffee cup to win a car! laptop!
money! coffee! donuts!! Yeehaw!!

So, here's the question of the day.....
If you saw an unrolled, used, discarded coffee cup in the garbage would you pull it out and roll up the rim??
What would get you....... Greed? Excitement? or The Gross Factor?
The gross, germ infested idea that someone's lips had been on the rim???
But wait! What if the plastic cover was open on the opposite side of the roll up.
This would indicate that foreign lips and germs aren't going to be where your thumbs will touch..... would you do it then??

There was controversy one year over a kid who pulled her teacher's cup out of the garbage but then needed to get help to roll up the rim......who was the true winner?? The person who bought the coffee?? The kid who pulled it out of the garbage?? The person who rolled it up??

Roll Up the Rim is a serious time of year.
I hate buying coffee for friends during this season.
If their cup wins....shouldn't I get the prize??
Hmmmmm....

So many moral dilemmas over a cup of coffee.
Happy Rolling!!

Silence is Golden

Bullshit I say!
Whoever came up with 'Silence is Golden' never had laryngitis!

Silence is annoying.
You can't talk to people!
You can't talk to yourself!
You can't laugh out loud!
You can't sing in the shower!
You can't yell at your kids!
You can't get anyone's attention!
You can't read aloud-important if you are a librarian!
You can't order coffee at the drive through window!

It's the coffee that is killing me!
I have to park, get out of the car and get in line.....
Note: in line when someone buds in front of you, you can't say "Hello! I was next!"
No, you just grin and bear it!
Remember to wear mitts so you can give the offending person the finger!

Next, you have to write a note ( I have a pre-written supply in my purse) and hand the cashier the note. This is when things get dicey.....sometimes, they momentarily think you are handing them a stick up note! PANIC!!

Then the fun begins:
1. They hand you your coffee and act like you have the plague-laryngitis isn't fatal!
2. They yell the price at you THAT IS $1.53- I'm silent not deaf!
3. They write the price on the piece of paper for you- Again, silent not deaf!
4. They whisper back.....

Smile and the whole world smiles with you, whisper and the same thing happens!

I'm on day 8 and I don't think I can go much longer!
Voice.....I miss you!

Genius

Someone I admire greatly, posted this on Facebook last week.
So , I watched it....

About this talk: Elizabeth Gilbert muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses -- and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius.

Now I'm not a huge fan of Ms. Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, Love, however, I liked this talk.

Basically, according to my understanding, she says everyone has a genius outside of themself just waiting for the right moment to show up and do it's part in making your ordinary, extraordinary!
Genius isn't inside some, it's outside of everyone just waiting for the right moment to become a part of your creativity.


I like this idea.....
I like the idea that we all have a genius...
I like the idea that we all have a genius and that my genius is outside of me and may at some time show up and do it's part.
Someday, somehow, somewhere -WOW!- I'm going to create something great!

I believe my genius is male....
I believe my genius is male and it's lost....
I believe my genius is male, it's lost and it won't stop to ask directions on how to find me....

I'm still waiting....
This may take awhile.

Regrets

Regrets....I have a few.

High school typing....now there's a regret!

You see, I can't type.
I'm a four-fingered, hunt and pecker.
I have to watch the keys and have no idea what's going on up on the screen.
I CAN GO AN ENTIRE LINE IN CAP LOCKS BEFORE I LOOK UP AND NOTICE!!
I'm slow and it's painful.

How did I reach this sorry state.
Let's go back, way back, way back to high school.
It was the end of the seventies and I was in high school.
Do I take typing or do I take band class?

My mother, she wanted me to take typing.
But no, I knew better.
I can hear the tone in my voice, that teenage attitude, that know it all self righteousness!
(I was a shitty teenager.....sorry Mom!)
"I am never going to be a secretary!" I proclaimed
"Who needs to type?"

We had computers, I actually took computer programming in high school.
It was an up and coming course.
You created a math equation.
You filled in the bubble cards, sent the stack to the Board of Education and Voila! you would get a print out of your equation with the answers!
Who needed to type when you could fill in bubbles on the computer cards??

No instead of typing I was going to take band class and play my trombone!
Now there's a skill that has taken me far in life!

Who knew that typing would come in handy.....
Regrets.....I have a few.

Check this out!

This is the coolest website:

360Cities
http://www.360cities.net/

Check it out!

I love this virtual trip to the Easter Islands!
http://www.360cities.net/image/073-easter-island-another-day-at-tongariki

Me want gum!

Roots.

Good God!
Where did they come from.
No, I'm not talking about those ancestors in the closet.
I'm talking the one inch roots on my head.

One day I was having a good hair day; the next day-
BAM!
There they are!
Darker than the rest and grey as grey can be!
Or, as my Mother refers to the colour: pewter.
Pewter and sparkly!
They reflect the light!
A beacon proclaiming "Hey! Look at me! She's got a fake colour AND she is going grey!"

I'm too young to go grey!
Darn teenagers!!
I'm holding them responsible for the whole problem.
Roots, because I have no personal time to go to the salon.
Grey, because they are aging me....and it ain't graceful!

PS In case you were curious:

Which is correct, the "grey" or "gray" spelling?
Have you often wondered "Am I spelling g-r-e-y correctly...or is it g-r-a-y?". How do you spell the color grey or gray? Well, the answer is they are both correct. There are two acceptable spellings. Gray is used primarily in the United States and other areas that use US English. Grey is used in Great Britain and areas that use UK English
http://www.greyorgray.com/

GNO

GNO... Girl's Night Out

A few nights ago I had a GNO with my friends from University.
It's been awhile since we've seen one another.
Didn't matter.
A day, a week, a month, a year......our friendships just fall into place.

I've been thinking about our friendships.
We met when we were all young, innocent (?), ready to face the world and 18.
We've all changed and yet we haven't.

These are the friends I have grown up with, become adults with, I'm growing old(er) with them.
We've shared so much laughter, love, joy, happiness, fun, tears, sadness, heartbreak.
First loves, break ups, marriages, divorce.
Births, babies, children, teenagers.
Parents, siblings, in-laws, deaths, loss.
School, assignments, degrees, graduations, first jobs, job loss, career change.
Religion, politics, beliefs, opinions.

Laughter, love, silliness, hugs, support, gossip, discussions, stories, 'remember whens'.....
My friends are so dear to me.
I'm truly blessed to have them.
xo

Book Talk

Still Alice by Lisa Genova

I haven't finished with this book, I keep flipping back through it; rereading certain parts and chapters over and over again.
I haven't finished thinking about it either.

Simple summary: The main character is a 50 year old Harvard professor, diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. It is a tragic story.
Her relationship with her family, her friends, her world.....changed forever.

It is a well written book.
I couldn't put it down and read to the end needing to know what happens.
How does her life turn out? How does her family cope?

The scary part is that the book opens up a can of what-ifs?
What if it happened to me?
What if it happened to someone I loved?
What would I want to happen?
What would I choose? ....for myself? ....for my family?
How would I want to live my life?
How would I want to end my life?

Dark thoughts. Serious thoughts.
Thoughts which lead to interesting discussions.

Dead Battery

Conversation last evening:

Me: Hi. (tone of voice: mix of worry and bother)

Hubby: Hi. (tone of voice: why are you calling me when the game is starting? I thought you were coming to the arena)

Me: My battery is dead.

H: No it's not.

Me: ????? Yes it is.

H: It can't be.

Me: Well, the lights are on but it's dead.

H: The lights are on, it's working, it's fine, your battery is not dead.

J: Yes it is! It won't turn on!

H: It's on, I'm talking to you........

J: What??? Not my phone you idiot! My car!!

Moral: Men are idiots; especially when watching sports!

Call Me Crazy!

Call me crazy, but I want some snow.
Lots and lots of snow.
Snow storms, snow drifts, snow piles, snow forts, snow days.....SNOW!

What's the point of living in Canada and not having snow?
What's the point of freezing cold temperatures and no snow?
What's the point of hot chocolate and marshmallows if you haven't just come in from the snow?

What's that I see out my window??
A flake? Two flakes?
Bring it on Mother Nature!!
Let it snow, let it snow, let it SNOW!!

Good Decision

Last night I made a good decision.
A wise decision.
The right decision.

Last night I decided to skip the blog and go to bed.

Last night I had a great idea to blog about.
It was witty.
It was insightful.
It was fantastic!

Last night I had been drinking.
I decided I shouldn't 'Drink and Blog'.
Is there a blogger law about that?
There should be.

Last night I made a good decision.
In this mornings bleary light I realize:
Wit was sarcasm...
Insightful was lame...
Fantastic was over-rated.

Note to self:
Drink after you blog!
It's the LAW!

Tyler

Tyler is my son's leopard gecko.
He was named after my good friend's baby.
My friend was not thrilled with the 'honour'.

Anyhow, Tyler had been with us for quite a few years when we noticed some weird drag marks on the sand in his terrarium.
My son picked him up to check his tail and that is when we noticed the 'blob'.
I don't know how else to describe it, it looked like a hemorrhoid hanging out of his butt slit.
My son was horrified! I was horrified!
He jumped to the worst: 'Is he going to die??'

I promised him we wouldn't let Tyler die and went straight to the Internet to check out gecko butts.
Apparently the can get blocked bowels and all sorts of weird stuff happening down there.
Who knew?
Next step, call the lizard lady; the one at the store where I buy crickets for Tyler.
She agreed it was probably a poop that couldn't come out....Gross!
She told me to put him in a container of warm water every few hours to help loosen the blob.
She also advised that I try to wiggle it to help it come out....even Grosser!
As an added precaution I also booked him in with the vet.

In the meantime, I soaked and wiggled.
Twenty-four hours later it was still there so off to the vet we went.

The vet checked out Tyler and commented what a good looking, healthy gecko he was.
I was filled with motherly-gecko pride.
He then asked my son if he knew if Tyler was a boy or a girl gecko.
His name is Tyler....we assured him he was a boy.
Yes, the vet agreed he was.
He then told us that gecko's have two penises (penis'? peni? what's the plural for that?) and how every year during mating season they both protrude out of his body while he searches for a mate. Sometimes if the terrarium is dry, a penis can get stuck outside of his body, unable to slide back in.
As a result it swells and is stuck outside of his body........

OMG!!! I had been wiggling the penis of my gecko!!
Wanking on his willy.....
Giving him a hand-job......

Was that a gecko grin I saw??

You know those situations when you have an out of body experience and you float back looking at what you have done???
I was reliving the past 24 hours of soaking and wiggling Tyler's 'thingy'!
Of course he wasn't going to die!!
He was probably having a great time!!


In the haze the doctor assured us he would cleanse the penis, lubricate it and slide it back in.
All this for $60.00.
Would I be interested in watching so I would know how to do it if it happened again?
NO!!

Horrified we returned home.
I wasn't able to make eye contact with the gecko.
My traumatized son couldn't make eye contact with me.
The gecko.....I swear that gecko was grinning.

My husband??
He was jealous.....jealous of Tyler the Gecko and his hand-job!

Laugh of the Day!

The Canadian Car.....
Why Canadians need heated seats!



This made me laugh out loud today!
I love a good laugh in the morning :)

PS I don't drive a jeep (so I'm not making millions for showing this)
PPS I really, really want heated seats!

Family Game Night!

They make it look like fun on TV.
Everyone is smiling and laughing.
They are enjoying Family Game Night......
Are they acting???

Family Game Night at my house.....
Starts off slow; we argue over which game and usually one kid is crabby because it's not the game he wanted.
The scores add up.
Someone gets ahead.
The sulking starts.
Yelling.
Accusations.
Name calling.
Game pieces and boards go flying.
Cuss words.
Someone stomps off.
Tears.
My husband and I argue over who is genetically responsible for the boys' behaviour.
We all hate each other.

We've tried to implement some ground rules over the years to help.
We don't keep score.
We set a time limit.
We separate the boys with adults and table corners so they aren't sitting within hitting range of each other.
We feed them, it's hard to yell when your mouth is full.

Sometimes these rules help.
More often then not, they don't change a thing.

The number one way to ensure I have fun at game night??
A glass of wine (or two, or three)!

Gotta love Family Game Night!!

Grocery Shopping

Groceries.

They are a fact of life.
A repetitive chore.
I don't like to do the groceries.

I'm a list shopper.
I make a list of what we need.
I check cupboards and fridges before I go.
I check the calendar to see what our week looks like; how many dinners in; how many have to be fast.
I plan the menu on my list.
I shop for all the ingredients at once, they go on the list.

I write the list in order of where the stuff is in the store and the order I shop in.
Veggies and fruits on the top followed by deli and bakery.
I know the aisles in my store and my list follows the aisles.
Dairy and frozen food at the bottom.
Meats down the side.

I'm a freak....I don't deny it.

Today my shopping experience was a disaster for two reasons.
One, I went to a different store, a Superstore, and the aisles were out of order.

Secondly, my husband joined me.
Now don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my husband......but as a shopper, he is hard to be with.

He wanders, twice I had to phone him to locate him and the cart!

He is so s-l-o-w, he picks up things and reads labels.
What's up with that? We are on a timeline!!

He puts thing in the cart that aren't on the list!
Today he bought some type of curry sauce.
Did he buy meat to put the sauce on? Nope!
Food to eat with the non existent meat? Nope!
Does he have a plan of when we are going to eat it? Nope!
Am I going to use it? Nope! It wasn't on my list!

Don't even get me started the order he puts things on the conveyor belt for the cashier!
His bagging skills???!!

So grocery shopping is a chore that I tolerate.
Grocery shopping with my husband is intolerable!

Hope for Haiti

The images break my heart.
The outpouring of help and love fill my heart.
The Hope inspires me.

Just Five Minutes

That's all I need.
Five minutes to myself.
Just a few moments to collect my thoughts and write something down.

It's 9:00 on Friday night.
My house is swarming with boys.
I haven't been able to get on the computer.
Now that I'm here, my mind is blank.

Earlier I had some great thoughts.
Some witty thoughts......they were downright hilarious!
Some intelligent thoughts...they were downright brilliant!
Some bizarre thoughts...they were downright weird!
I can't remember any of them.

So what do I do?
Sit here and try to remember?
Or join the chaos upstairs and open a bottle of wine?

Hard choice.
Anyone know where the corkscrew is?

Edited.

Last spring I wrote and submitted an article to a magazine.
It was an assignment for a course I was taking and I spent many hours writing and rewriting.
I wanted to sound professional but I wanted the article to sound like me.
My thoughts, my words, my voice.

Imagine my thrill when I found out in September that I was to be published.
I cried....with happiness and a feeling of accomplishment.

Today, a copy of the magazine turned up at my house.
Saw my contributor photo and bio ....not bad.
Saw the page number and title of my article.... that's not what I called it.
Turned to the article, took a deep breath and read.

Hey, what's going on?
Those aren't my words....
I didn't write that....

The gist is the same; it's basically what I wrote.
Actually, they've changed quite a bit.
Added entire sentences and ideas.
Moved my thoughts around.
Added words I never use.

It's not my style; not my words; not my voice.
I feel disappointed.
I feel like my words, my ideas weren't good enough.
I don't want anyone to see it.
I wish my picture wasn't there.
I won't do this again.

Today I cried....from disappointment.

Helpless

Last night I sat alone in the dark, up in the family room.
The large screen TV sat black and silent.
The only light came from the streetlamp outside and the digital clock on a darkened electronic device - DVD box? Cogeco box? I couldn't make out the shape.
The house was silent and peaceful, my family either in bed or involved in other quiet tasks.
I sat curled up with the dog, covered in a blanket letting the silence envelope me.

After a wile I realized I was truly alone and no one was coming to join me

....... or rescue me.

My heart beating with frustration, my breathing ragged, I raised my fist in the air and assuming a southern drawl just like Scarlett I raged:

"As God is my witness, I will learn to work the remotes and turn on the TV by myself!!!"

What would you do??

Today was a busy day.
My boys had six different places to be, all at different times.
It was just one of those days.

Someone said to me in passing, "What would you do with yourself if you didn't have to drive your kids all over the place? "

Hmmmmmm.........
What would I do?

1. Read a good book.
2. Have a nap on the weekend in front of a fire.
3. Cook a great meal.
4. Entertain.
5. Go out for coffee with some friends.
6. Go out for dinner with my husband.
7. Go see a movie.
8. Go for a walk.
9. Go skating on an outdoor rink.
10. Sit by the lake and think.
11. Write a letter or a card to an old friend.
12. Organize my photos.
13. Daydream.
14. Visit family.
15. Learn to work a good camera.
16. Take a course.
17. Write.
18. Work in my gardens.
19. Play cards and games.
20. Play the piano.
21. Do a puzzle
...... I'll stop there but the list is endless.

Don't get me wrong.
I love what I do (most of the time) and I'm in no hurry for my boys not to need me.
But when they are ready, I'll be ready too.

Believe me, I won't be bored!

Speed Up!!!

Have you ever noticed that the more of a hurry you are in, the slower --people-- drive?
Is it just me?

Need to cross the city in a hurry?
The person in front of you leaves the length of a football field between themself and the car in front of them!
Try changing lanes to get around them?
They speed up! Just-to-piss-you-off!

Trying to make the light before it changes?? ..... because, as I mentioned, I'm in a hurry!
The person ahead of you slows down to admire the shade of yellow!

Trying to fly through the side streets?
Who goes 30 km in a 50km zone??
Only the person in front of me!!

Stopped yet again by a school bus with it's lights flashing??
In my day we walked to school!!
Get out of my way!
Don't even get me started on school bus stop mothers and their driving habits, or worse yet, school parking lot mothers in big SUV's that they can't drive!!!!

I know what you are thinking....slow down, relax, better safe then sorry, you'll arrive alive!
I know you, you're the one in front of me, slowing me down!
BEEP!! Speed up!

Car Wash

I took my van through the car wash yesterday.
It was so much fun!

The anticipation of the water first hitting your car.
Leaning into the centre of the van as the rollers go spinning past your window.
Watching in the rear view as they go across the back of the van.
The whole sudsy, bubbly soap stage.
The anxiety at the idea of being trapped in the middle of the car wash!
Imagining that I am being attacked by a giant octopus when those tentacles go slurping up my windshield!
The spray of the rinse cycle.
Forecasting like Anderson Cooper in hurricane force winds as I dry out.

Did I mention I was alone in the car without my kids?

Help!! I'm a child trapped in an adults body!!

Toilet Talk

Now there's a title that catches your attention!
If you were looking for new phrases or words to add to your potty mouth repetoire, move on.
This blog is covering a much more serious topic.


Toilet talk.
Talking stall to stall.
Is there an etiquette guide?
What's acceptable??


Scenario 1: If two women friends walk into separate stalls mid conversation, is it OK for the conversation to continue?
Should it be put on hold until business is concluded?


Scenario 2: If you are in a stall and you see through the door crack a friend enter the stall next door (sometimes this happens through shoe recognition) is it OK to strike up a conversation?
Is it OK to do it with a friend? Family member? Colleague?

Scenario 3: Business is slow. Can you strike up a conversation with the total stranger in the stall next door?


I thought about it today, and yes, I thought about it while in a stall!
What can I say? I was lonely, starved for conversation and having random thoughts.
I need to know the rules before people start fleeing the washrooms whenever I sit down and speak up!


Toilet help please!!
.... and while I have your attention, I'm out of toilet paper can you pass some under??